What have you done today? Anything been on your mind? Feel free to go into as much detail as necessary.
Will the kiddies freak? Will they attempt to do detective work and find the person? Will they do nothing? Will they do nothing because they assume it was fake? Or do they do nothing because they don't want to get caught? Will they be haunted by what they think is a terrible secret?
>Chinua Achebe, dies aged 82 Reuters
Chinua Achebe was still alive??? Holy shit...
Also, life expectancy for a Nigerian man? 58.8 yrs. So that's like living to be 99 in America or 103 in Iceland. That's impressive! Sad in many terrible ways... but impressive!
Once upon a time I noted that you practically have to suck a doctor's dick to get a bottle of medical oxygen (I mean, sure I didn't have a legitimate reason to have it and there's the whole setting yourself on fire thing) but any fool can buy an industrial quantity of nitrous oxide with no questions asked...
Oops: http://news.yahoo.com/feds-raid-17-calif-businesses-001547479.html
>Authorities raid 17 Calif. businesses allegedly selling nitrous oxide for illegal drug use
> federal agents seized 367 tanks or 36,000 pounds of nitrous oxide with a street value of $20 million... many of these shops don't contain any auto supplies at all, just tanks of nitrous oxide... The gas is legally used by dentists for anesthesia, to pressurize whipped cream canisters and to speed up race cars....
Let's practice playing this cool, guys: "Yes, I am totally a dentist." "Yes, I need to make about eighty gallons of whipped cream." "Why yes, this Ford Focus is a race car."
> Nitrous oxide is also considered a greenhouse gas and is 310 times more dangerous to the Earth's ozone layer than carbon dioxide...
Really? That's the best you can come up with? Then why can't I use baby deer breathe oxygen to get oxygen?? Seriously, why can't I find a crooked oxygen dealer?
LA: We have both a literal tar pit and a psychological one!
Here's the thing to remember: these animals we breed for our personal use. They are not bred for longevity. If it's bred for meat, it's going to have a short life one way or the other. Chicken breeds bred for meat won't live long beyond their intended lifespan. They grow enough meat and all purpose behind their breeding is gone. They can just drop dead after that and often do...
What do you do with the dead animals that happened to mature before all the others? You can't eat them. I mean, this isn't China or some shit. All you can do is render them for the fat. You grind them up, boil it, and skim the fat off the top. This is where soap comes from. No joke. If you use bar soap ever, this is the source. Your hands aren't just clean, they're covered in the evidence of our dominance over other species.
Yeah, FUCK YOU COW! We turned you from a proud and mighty creature that fucked up the best of our hunters into one so useless that you're prodded into whatever direction we lead you with a combination of machines and immigrant labor. Nearly every single example of your now worthless species won't live to see its third birthday. Yeah, that's right. FUCK YOU, COW. WE R AWESOME, U R NOT.
But here's the other thing for all the PETA fucks in the world to remember: this is a symbiotic relationship. There are more cows and more chickens alive than ever before in all of history. They are some of the most successful species of all times because they're just so tasty and conveniently easy to kill.
One day we'll breed a chicken with a gravy gland...
W2CH proudly announces Archduke's latest.... thing!
Whatever it is.
I think he's pretending to muslim now or something.
I'm sitting in a computer apps class surrounded by idiots and we had a 16 question worksheet which I finished, right afterward the teacher asked us to copy down definitions. How absurdly rude of her! ;_;
...I rather post on message boards.
From time to time, I am reminded that I need to take a world tour of Brutalist architecture before the savages tear it all down.
I wish I had a huge penis. Like dragging-along-the-ground enormous. It's just six feet long and dripping with a constant stream of pre-cum. Clearly, I just don't give a fuck and don't even bother trying to cover it anymore because it's too big to hide. It's a fucking tumor of a penis...
I wish it had a disembodied voice that said stuff like "You must kill them. You must kill them all, for they are heretics!" Clearly I can hear this voice and clearly it's speaking to me, but also everyone else can hear it. In every conversation I have, it just gets louder and louder: "NO, YOU MUST NOT LISTEN TO THE HERETIC; YOU MUST TAKE HIS LIFE!"... and I'm like talking to an insurance agent...
>>555
In fact, this is the character for our manga. Fuck anything else. Here is, in all his glory: clad in a Japanese girl's middle school uniform, sentient penis slung over his shoulder shouting "KILL! KILL! KILL!", firing a Kalashnikov rifle wildly with his one free hand, and clad in an oxygen mask because the mound of corpses on which he stands is higher than Everest!
and it's a slice-of-life manga
Of the claimed 4% of Americans who answered that they believe that lizard people control the US government, 77.67% answered the survey such "for the lulz" according to a recent survey.
About 2,330,000 results (0.51 seconds)
Did you mean: Hey Anon! You know that in addition to this image boards, there are others?
This place sure has been slow lately...
can't wait for windows 9 though!
>>566
Windows 9: One huge colorful animated tile that says "Press here to pay your monthly subscription." If you pay it, it changes kto a prettier color. That's all. They've reduced the PC to an infant's mobile, basically.
When you get a machine with Windows 8 installed, the first thing you have to do is spend time making it look nothing like Windows 8 so that your users can actually use it. It's like buying a car and having to immediately replace the "ergonomic driving saddles" with actual seats and the "fuel-saving octagonal car/road interface" with round tires.
And in all honesty, it really could be a lot worse. I mean, what if you couldn't modify it? Oh no... what if they do that to the next version?? I'm going to have nightmares about that.
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? MARGARET THATCHER.
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
MARGARET THATCHER is dead!
RIP Maggie, greatest PM Britain has ever known.
>>569
Get a job you workshy cunt.
"We're putting the wonder back in air travel"
That's awful. Who thought of this? "I wonder if we'll ever get off the ground." "I wonder why they cancelled my flight." "I wonder where my bags are."
I accidentally got a job.
Please help me.
>>572
Shit, that's a snazzy looking ID
>>572
A job is the gateway anti-drug. What have you done?? The biggest mistake you'll ever make is trying to be a responsible adult. You're doomed.
Wow. I really miss the community this site had.
:\
>>575
Everyone is either dead or in hiding. It can't be helped.
Which will lose all of its value first- the Euro or the Bitcoin? Place your bets people.
>>577
Bitcoin. They lost around $30 in the course of minutes yesterday. I guess I win. Gambling sure is easy when you're asked to place your bets after the roulette wheel has stopped spinning. It's also really easy to place your bet when one horse is hard currency and the other is fake internet gold whose main promoters are conspiracy theorists on internet forums with a disproportionately high number of My Little Pony avatars.
Going into work for the first time today.
Why didn't you save me?
BREAKING NEWS: /b/, /v/ frozen. /q/ a hive of conspiracy theories and paranoia.
>>581
Today would've been a great day to hang out on /q/... I messed up!
I somehow missed all the action. Nothing was happening by the time I showed up.
The only good day to hang out on /q/ will be the one preceeding its deletion.
DO YOU SEE?? HE NEVER CAME BACK.
That's what happens when you leave the house. Let that be a lesson to all of you!
Haven't gotten fired yet. Why aren't you guys helping?
Good /b/-tards are at home all day solving mysteries (see link).
>>588 went to "work"; posted about it here.
Disregard above link, cocks, etc. Instead: http://yhoo.it/12nuNYZ
Does 0037 still update the wiki?
All the articles I find are from 2012
I found klang's new blog: http://panelcrashing.blogspot.com/
In other news:
Last night, I went for a walk with my tobacco pipe. I sat along side the water and just enjoyed watching and listening to the waves. It was incredibly relaxing and I had some good thoughts.
After that, I thought I'd go get some tea so I headed to a cafe. It was closing the minute I walked in, so I went to a restaurant down the street.
Aside from me, there were maybe 3 or 4 couples in the restaurant. The place looked empty. The waitress brought me some tea and kept saying I needed to eat something. "I'll buy you something!" she eventually says, and I say "I'm not homeless!" She says she doesn't think I am, but she thinks I look like a nice guy. Alright.
The waitress and I had a great conversation after my meal and then she leaves me with her number on a napkin. A fairly nice night.
Very sick. 50mg of DXM, 50mg of DPH, shot of whiskey gets me through the day.
Can more people go on the irc please?
i miss the good old days(lol)
irc.synirc.net
#world2ch
>>593
Congratulations. You're now physically addicted to DXM. They said it couldn't be done, but you proved them wrong. You're a hero to the children.
I have a confession to make... I'm not really 0037. I mean, I am, but not in a truly spiritual sense. I traded my soul for this minor internet fame. An old man in Marakesh had a table filled with little cards, like bar menus, each wrapped in ancient fabric. At one of the table were great things one could be: "famous actor", "politician", "celebrity chef", each in beautifully embroidered and pristine fabric. But my soul wasn't good enough for that. After "guy with English accent who reviews video games on youtube", after "guy who owns a cute cat", and even after "guy who reviews video games on youtube (no English accent)" there were two at the end, the fabric on each moth-eaten and stained. My soul was so tainted I had my pick of only these two. I opted for the first of the two, "old Internet guy." It was either that or "tripfag celebrity famous for being famous."
>>588
Life-long unemployment can still be yours, but you're not helping us help you any. Something tells me you actually like working. I think your dedication to the cause is lacking.
I hung out with some /jp/ers on 4/20. We hung out in downtown Portland, then we got really high and really drunk. I can't say it was a bad way to spend the day.
I've been deathly sick for the past few days. No work, no school.
>>602
Wonder what he did wrong. I've always been worried about internet security, but I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong or what I could do different, because no one is willing to take the time and hack my shit.
Im failing partial differential equations.
Security through assumed apathy is a pretty weak strategy.
>>605
Please hack my site. I want to learn what I should do differently.
My job now consists of talking about Persian women and smoking weed. This is not what I signed up for.
lmao
Apr 23 23:36:47 theshadowfog sshd[27172]: Failed password for invalid user lbjlive from 61.155.177.58 port 45602 ssh2
Apr 23 23:36:48 theshadowfog sshd[27181]: error: Could not load host key: /etc/ssh/ssh_host_ecdsa_key
Apr 23 23:36:49 theshadowfog sshd[27181]: Invalid user belltrix from 61.155.177.58
Apr 23 23:36:49 theshadowfog sshd[27181]: pam_unix(sshd:auth): check pass; user unknown
Apr 23 23:36:49 theshadowfog sshd[27181]: pam_unix(sshd:auth): authentication failure; logname= uid=0 euid=0 tty=ssh ruser= rhost=61.155.177.58
lmao
rekt
i gat u fgt
prepared 2 get rekid
he uploaded a php shell
apparently i didn't make it so that you couldn't upload php files(or he got around it) to my glitch art folder.
im an idiot
>>610-611
I want to get hacked but no one will hack me
>>613
I'm waiting.
I'm going to get "Fukc child suport" (sic) tattooed on my neck in Gothic Blackletter.
Demotivational Posters (a.k.a Demotivators) are typically designed to discourage one’s moral strength and diminish one’s self-esteem. It usually consists of a picture, COOL STORY
Let's see how many boards that was spammed to... Not what I want to see at 5:45 in the morning. Come to think of it, what do I want to see at 5:45 in the morning? Fox girl porn...
>>617
They got me.
Does anyone else view Gelbooru as a video game where the goal is to get the filters right so that you get only one result?
>>619
I still don't understand the difference between boorus and web 1.0 image galleries.
I don't get Dr. Robotnik. How many hundreds of billions of dollars has he wasted on these ridiculous machines? It's a fucking hedgehog. You should be able to kill it with a tack hammer.
>We consume over 2,800,000,000 cups of coffee a week...
Wait... we? So like, between you and me. I guess this breaks down to 8 cups for me, 2,799,999,992+ for you.
I want a tank armored with real doll flesh. It will end all wars.
>Henry Gribbohm Jr. said ... he got caught up in a carnival game called Tubs of Fun set up outside the JFK Coliseum in Manchester [NH]. Before he knew it, he had handed over $300.
>"They explained to me I was going to get all my money back, I was going to get an Xbox Kinect... They lied to me,"
>He said he drove home to Epsom and returned to the carnival with more than $2,000 in cash. In the end, he said he spent $2,600 and never won the game.
??? Oh New Hampshire, you're quickly catching up to Florida in the race to be the state with the most WTF. If you're wondering, a 4GB Xbox 360 with Kinect, a controller, and two games (probably crap, but free) costs $289.99 on Amazon.
>He said he returned the next day to ask for his money back, and was given $600 and a stuffed banana with dreadlocks.
lol
Now I know that in light of recent tragedies, that you're all very concerned about the ethics and safety of arming children. But now, more than ever, the future depends on competing in a global community. Nations like The Republic of the Congo and Somalia are arming their children with fully automatic weapons starting at an early age. How will our children fare if we don't arm them more heavily and at an earlier age? This is why I put before Congress a bill to provide every child in America with a rocket launcher, training to use it, and a bible. Now some may say that this bill is "radical" and "goes too far", but I say it doesn't go far enough. I ask Congress to expand this bill to provide free rockets, on demand, to every citizen of this great country and to legalize the sale of hand guns from vending machines.
California wildfire burns its way to the Pacific Ocean AND KEEPS GOING!
NEET4NEET
20 year old cross-dressing man seeks someone who can pass as a female to do heroin and talk about Schopenhauer with.
What do I want to spend all of your money on this month? Things I enjoy or things you enjoy? I think I'm going to have to go with things I enjoy.
We don't need to ban guns, we just need to provide superior marketing for alternative home defense solutions.
Motherfucking Ax(TM): Ain't no one messing with someone 'got a Motherfucking Ax(TM).
You got a gun, huh? I got a Motherfucking Ax(TM).
Imagine the television spot: burglars burst in on a family watching television. Dad bursts in from the hallway with a Motherfucking Ax(TM).
Shot of the product with voice over: You think you need a gun for home defense?
Next scene: Dad chasing burglars down the street, nothing but boxer shorts and a Motherfucking Ax(TM) raised above his head with a crazy grin.
Voice over: Motherfucking Ax(TM). Way scarier than their guns.
With the YOUR said like, "Oh, you brought a gun to a Motherfucking Ax(TM) fight? You got a small dick or something?"
Ladies (lol) and gentlemen, our troubles are over. Our children (lol) will never want for comedy. Never will they suffer a moment of boredom or yawn at a six year-old image macro. A vast new reserve of comedy has been discovered that will feed the Internet's entire demands for at least 1,000 hours!
Part I: http://youtu.be/G6LY7TJ16pg
Part II: http://youtu.be/XQDtoHpAWhg
I saw those crazy eyes. I listened to you tell the host about God, your cats, and the Internet haters out to get you, all well before he managed to set foot in your restaurant. I knew right then and there it was true love.
I knew it before you told a man with fourteen Michelin stars between his holdings, that his opinion of the food you served him is wrong. I knew it before you fired a waitress on camera for no particular reason. I knew it before we found out you call people faggots on Yelp. I knew it was true love along. I knew it was love even before we found out about your prison sentence for bank fraud.
This is the greatest leap forward for Internet comedy since Chris-chan. I LOVE YOU AMY!!
Risperidone. Lamotrigine. Lexapro. Ativan.
I used to do acid, cough syrup, and weed.
All kinds of explorations with drugs.
I recently picked up a Portuguese girlfriend. She has severe depression :(
I still have that job ;_;
>>636
Isn't it nice, having money? Working sure is rewarding!
Yahoo and Tumblr negotiations look like high school student government meetings. Except they have nicer chairs, I guess.
i've never done drugs and i've never had a girlfriend and i've never had severe depression
In this week's episode of Mythbusters, there's an interlude where Adam shows off a model he made for the movie "AI" while working at ILM. It's a nice model of a derelict merry-go-round. He says that no one will recognize it because the scene it was in was cut from the movie. That's the part that gets me. So this movie has a run time that's 36 minutes longer than the age of the universe and you're telling me there are deleted scenes? Wow.
My natural reaction is to assume that there is something seriously wrong with what I'm doing. I find myself quietly sabotaging my own plans. By this point though, it's fucking meaningless because nothing can stop this. It's only now that it's far too late that I realize I have made no consideration for the possibility that I might succeed.
It feels like failure has been the one constant in my life. This can't be true because I've made it this far, but still, I can't help feeling like failure is failing me. Where are you, my old friend? Where is the wind above my wings?
>In Monona, Wisconsin, parents can now be ticketed by police and fined in municipal court if their children repeatedly bully others.
Well, that's completely insane. I bet this statement can't be topped in terms of ludicrousness, particularly not by the NEXT LINE OF THE STORY.
>Some bullying experts are praising the move.
Wow. So aside from declaring yourself such, what qualifies the following people as a "bullying experts"? Also SOME "bullying experts"? Jesus fuck, why wasn't this article just shredded? Why didn't the editor just stand up, unzip his pants, and piss on this article while staring the author right in the eye? That's about what it deserves. But no, any criticism is immediately declared BULLYING & DISCRIMINATION. I am three sentences into this story and I'm ready to just burn takepart.com and Monona, Wisconsin to the fucking ground.
>“Sometimes you’ll knock on someone’s door and they won’t want to talk to you—their kids are perfect, they could never do anything wrong,” Monona Police Chief Wally Ostrenga told the newspaper. “This is for those times when we get the door slammed in our faces.”
Yeah, because this is fucking stupid and the police of all people shouldn't be involved in this.
OH, by the way, let's look at the qualifications of our BULLYING EXPERTS:
Steve Siebold is a former professional athlete and national coach turned author and motivational speaker (of the hot topic at the moment that will guarantee him bookings). Kate Walton, a former public school teacher ... Walton is also the author of Cracked and Empty, two young adult novels about bullying (because bullying sells!). ... Ezechiel “Zeke” Bambolo, Jr., an author and speaker (NO FURTHER QUALIFICATIONS LISTED).
Good job takepart.com. Did we find any actual qualified experts? How about a child behavioral specialist? Psychologists maybe? How about anyone who might tell you this problem is completely overblown and out of control to the endless profit of a couple nutcase "motivational speakers and authors"?
I swear I'm going to start the first PRO-BULLYING forum.
Shii, is hitting on a nun a sin? You're the expert here.
No one else saw that, right? Good.