What have you done today? Anything been on your mind? Feel free to go into as much detail as necessary.
Hospital is discharging me for 2 days as a sort of trial to see how well I manage at home before they (possibly) let me go later this month. Going to spend some much needed quality time with the waifu.
Today was a good day. But still kind of bad.
I hope tomorrow is good, without any bod.
My default document type by [[name]].
Students have to be enlightened on every topic, even those which make little sense to me and are clearly the work of the new world order, such as math, science, and the English language. I understand history though and especially all the confusion caused by the reptilian conspiracy against humanity. They’re everywhere you know. They’ve done everything to me personally from hiding my keys to replacing my essay on the philosophy of teaching with something my roommate wrote while drunk.
Teachers do so much to enlighten our world. For instance, teachers suspected of being witches and burned at the stake lit the town square of Utrecht for sixteen straight nights in the fall of 1659 and my third grade teacher glowed in the dark so much you could read by her glow. I wonder what ever happened to her. I read so much ancient knowledge off her warm glow. I just remember the last time I saw her was the night of that meteor shower and afterwards those strange tall men told me not to talk about her to anyone. No one else remembers that but me. I even had to go stay at the hospital because of what those doctors said to me in my memories about that teacher. And that’s why that teacher is my hero.
As a teacher I intend to enlighten children as well. Though I was previously swallowing a lot of radium so that I too would glow in the dark, I’ve since learned from all of my classes that I should never be alone in the dark with children. While I’m certainly of the opinion that exceptions should be made to this rule, such as astronomy, photography, and definitely astrology classes, I intend to bring as much light as possible to every classroom I enter. To that end, I have secured a very nice head lamp which I intend to wear at all times so that I will never be alone in the dark with a student. I have taken classes on this subject from the church and believe you me, those priests know all the technicalities. Those pigs will never catch me, let me tell you.
Anymore I am personally shocked and appalled by the lack of education among the masses. There is in fact an almost violent opposition to learning anything. For instance I was dragged out of a restaurant by security just for telling Woody Allen to tell "his people" to stop using their underground black hole generators to trigger earthquakes in Japan. I asked him very nicely if just a little too loudly and repetitively for the sheeple. I think he heard me though because there haven’t been any earthquakes since. He’s a very nice man.
I am going to teach the shit out of children. I’ll wait parked across the street with their homework in my hand at three in the morning in my awesome orange with a big eagle on the hood Trans-Am that I saw in the EasyAd for only seventeen hundred dollars. I’ll make sure those little bastards learn all that good stuff for my fat teacher’s check. Fuck yeah. See mom, with this job I can still go work at that fishing plant every summer. She makes me do it because my dad died there. It’s bullshit, I know but she thinks if I die there it means my youngest brother is the antichrist. It’s weird I know, but we’re Catholic.
I forgot baby. What? Yeah, I know. No, it’s cool, I’ll get it. What? No, hold on, let me turn off the computer. Dragon Speakeasy is on, that’s why. It’s not cheating. Hold on. I can too read. Prove it. Like you can. Hold on. Damn.
OK. And then I’m going to get some bitching display boards and stuff about like smoking and VD. I’m going to totally teach all those girls about the herpes like that bitch Leslie-Ann gave me when were doing Space Camp in ‘99. Bitches are gonna learn all about my Prozac bills, too. I’m going to teach them so hard they remember who’s on mount Rushmore. I don’t remember either but you guys know, right? There’s a lot of guys on that thing! Delete. Ok that looks right. Delete! That’s the right number of words. Delete!
And that is why I want to be a teacher.
Looked at room rent prices around here and dreamed. I need a job.
I had a nice weekend out of the hospital (I've been in there about a month and a half now) though I have to go back tonight. I got to see my kitties and my girlfriend for 3 days straight, all whom I missed a lot! We spent some time together at home the first night. Went out to a bar with some friends after and got a little done in and had a good time. Played her guitar and made pointless drone and even though I couldn't hear it...it was nice to play an instrument - it's relaxing. Much needed.
Last night I went out for dinner with another friend and managed to eat a bunch. Relaxed home alone and worked on an essay about idealism I started earlier in the week, until my girlfriend got home at 9. Later on, Archduke somehow had this idea we were still a couple and broke up with me on Twitter (weird???) but it was awkward because I didn't know he thought I was his girlfriend still (I think I told him like 2 weeks ago we were just friends at best). Oh well. What a relief!
Now I'm just wasting time until I return to the hospital, putting together a mobile version of www.cerealexperiments.com for no reason (it's pretty functional on Android without, but whatever).
OH, I get it now. The pope just did that to one-up Queen Beatrix.
Presenting the all-new Sony Facebook Machine, only $599.99!* Available online and in stores just in time for the decline of Facebook!
I have a date this weekend with a girl I met at the store!
Please note that >>510 is not only schizophrenic, but also suffers from multiple personality disorder. Take what she has to say regarding her life with a bit of salt. She has about 8 different personalities and all of them have different thoughts towards me. "I had no idea we broke up!" she told me the last time to be her boyfriend.
My father woke me up at 8, even though I only have to wake up a few hours later and I have an alarm and he know it. Rude.
>Take what she has to say regarding her life with a bit of salt.
Really? But I thought I was supposed to trust everything I read online!
Please note that >>513 is Tokiko. Take what he has to say regarding his life with a bit of salt.
>>509
Same here. I'll always fantasize about how cool it'd be to be on my own and have a job and be a (relatively) productive member of society. Someday...Hopefully.
Today was alright. I read articles on video games (including a review of every single FF game ever). And I played some video games - Breath of Fire 3 and the original Silent Hill. BoF3 is pretty fun, but it's kind of tedious. I like Teppo, though. Silent Hill is Silent Hill. Shit gets rusty, every lock is broken. That was my day, pretty much. Boring. Tomorrow will be the same. It's a bummer, but hey, I can't do anything about it right this moment, so I'm not going to complain.
Wall of text w
I had a lazy day today. Most productive thing I did was mail a letter. Rest of the day I spent laying around reading about post-structuralism and looking for empty warehouse space to possibly rent. In the evening my good friend Sophie showed up to return my Schopenhauer. She loved it and wanted more to read, so I'm going to lend her some Kant or something. After that my girlfriend showed up and we had dinner together, which was real nice.
Fun fact: Over the span of 57 years, every square inch of every surface in Disneyland has been vomited on by a sick child at least once.
This fun fact brought to you by Purell(TM).
On satellite radio, they have these channels: 60s on 6, 70s on 7, 80s on 8, etc. I crashed that rental before I got out of the parking lot, so I never found out for sure, but I assume the trend continues. That means they'll launch a 2020s on 12 on new year's day, 2020. Midnight, the first of January 2020, is the best time to release your album. See, you'll be the only music from the 2020s so they'll be forced to play it.
This is a brilliant plan and I'm going to put a business method patent on it. Do not copy plz.
i got a thing
A year or so ago, my mother gave me this photograph. It's me and my cousin. We're small children at this point. Maybe five? I don't know. So like, we're sitting on this... this thing. If I were forced to describe it, I would say it's "a crude representation of a motorcycle constructed from logs made to appear to be towing an equally crude representation of a travel trailer made of bright blue stucco."
We couldn't remember where/when the hell this ever happened. I showed it to my cousin and we agreed it must be in Arizona: the ground is red, the sky is wide open and clear blue, things are rocky and scrubby. We did have an aunt in Arizona and it was summer, so we were probably out there visiting her. That's all we could gather about it and marked it "Arizona 1986?"
Today I check http://www.nndb.com/ because I'm bored. There's an article about the ruins of a huge once-Rothschild-owned estate in France. It's moderately interesting... but among the links to other articles is this:
I know for sure when I see this towards the bottom: http://www.flickr.com/photos/matthigh/2379433022/
Mother fucker. That's it. Like I said: "a crude representation of a motorcycle constructed from logs made to appear to be towing an equally crude representation of a travel trailer made of bright blue stucco." Well now we know for sure: WILLIAMS, Arizona 1986?
Today I awoke, attended school, worked, lusted, ate, defecated, read, wrote, thought, spoke, among other things. All in all a pretty normal day. I will now go to sleep.
I got a tobacco pipe! It tastes good.
I like being mean on the internet and no one can stop me.
I hung out with a /jp/er last night. He showed up at my dad's at 11pm and we went to the arcade until 1 or 2. He was 26 years old and super cool. He kicked my ass in DDR but I got him back in Pacman and some shooting game.
I read, studied, and drank tea.
>>533
What the hell is a "/jp/er"?
I am an aspiring child actor. With a little CG, my height, bald spot, tattoos, and smoker's cough should be easily edited out. I've waited twenty years to play Tom Hanks' precocious nine year-old son...
oops. age.
This parchment dates to the reign of Henry IV--or H-I-V as I like to call him...
It's the sport of gentlemen; savage, awful gentlemen.
Cuba beat China 12-0 in the World Baseball Classic. International baseball is much like the professional baseball we're used to except they don't show it on TV. Or write reports about it. Also, if anyone were paying attention to this, there's a great joke in China's aptitude at manufacturing everything but runs.
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
[snip]This ended 3days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $3.5Million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.
(Cool story...)
[snip]ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $5,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2016...
($3,500,000/$5,000 = 700 days to withdraw all of this money. What a fucking hassle)
The return e-mail address following the "claim form" is the punchline: agentsmith_williams@yahoo.com.ph
Feminist shock forces are gunning for Airskadt. It's p. funny to watch.
sometimes i wonder if my parents only had me ironically
^^ shit's brilliant.
Well, most of the value in this property is tied up in the meth lab...
>Alice little three members in the ass , it takes a three- dildos, while the fourth is attached another leather.
I see...
>>545
We should put shit through google translate and spam their boards with it...
Will the kiddies freak? Will they attempt to do detective work and find the person? Will they do nothing? Will they do nothing because they assume it was fake? Or do they do nothing because they don't want to get caught? Will they be haunted by what they think is a terrible secret?
>Chinua Achebe, dies aged 82 Reuters
Chinua Achebe was still alive??? Holy shit...
Also, life expectancy for a Nigerian man? 58.8 yrs. So that's like living to be 99 in America or 103 in Iceland. That's impressive! Sad in many terrible ways... but impressive!
Once upon a time I noted that you practically have to suck a doctor's dick to get a bottle of medical oxygen (I mean, sure I didn't have a legitimate reason to have it and there's the whole setting yourself on fire thing) but any fool can buy an industrial quantity of nitrous oxide with no questions asked...
Oops: http://news.yahoo.com/feds-raid-17-calif-businesses-001547479.html
>Authorities raid 17 Calif. businesses allegedly selling nitrous oxide for illegal drug use
> federal agents seized 367 tanks or 36,000 pounds of nitrous oxide with a street value of $20 million... many of these shops don't contain any auto supplies at all, just tanks of nitrous oxide... The gas is legally used by dentists for anesthesia, to pressurize whipped cream canisters and to speed up race cars....
Let's practice playing this cool, guys: "Yes, I am totally a dentist." "Yes, I need to make about eighty gallons of whipped cream." "Why yes, this Ford Focus is a race car."
> Nitrous oxide is also considered a greenhouse gas and is 310 times more dangerous to the Earth's ozone layer than carbon dioxide...
Really? That's the best you can come up with? Then why can't I use baby deer breathe oxygen to get oxygen?? Seriously, why can't I find a crooked oxygen dealer?
LA: We have both a literal tar pit and a psychological one!
Here's the thing to remember: these animals we breed for our personal use. They are not bred for longevity. If it's bred for meat, it's going to have a short life one way or the other. Chicken breeds bred for meat won't live long beyond their intended lifespan. They grow enough meat and all purpose behind their breeding is gone. They can just drop dead after that and often do...
What do you do with the dead animals that happened to mature before all the others? You can't eat them. I mean, this isn't China or some shit. All you can do is render them for the fat. You grind them up, boil it, and skim the fat off the top. This is where soap comes from. No joke. If you use bar soap ever, this is the source. Your hands aren't just clean, they're covered in the evidence of our dominance over other species.
Yeah, FUCK YOU COW! We turned you from a proud and mighty creature that fucked up the best of our hunters into one so useless that you're prodded into whatever direction we lead you with a combination of machines and immigrant labor. Nearly every single example of your now worthless species won't live to see its third birthday. Yeah, that's right. FUCK YOU, COW. WE R AWESOME, U R NOT.
But here's the other thing for all the PETA fucks in the world to remember: this is a symbiotic relationship. There are more cows and more chickens alive than ever before in all of history. They are some of the most successful species of all times because they're just so tasty and conveniently easy to kill.
One day we'll breed a chicken with a gravy gland...
W2CH proudly announces Archduke's latest.... thing!
Whatever it is.
I think he's pretending to muslim now or something.
I'm sitting in a computer apps class surrounded by idiots and we had a 16 question worksheet which I finished, right afterward the teacher asked us to copy down definitions. How absurdly rude of her! ;_;
...I rather post on message boards.
From time to time, I am reminded that I need to take a world tour of Brutalist architecture before the savages tear it all down.
I wish I had a huge penis. Like dragging-along-the-ground enormous. It's just six feet long and dripping with a constant stream of pre-cum. Clearly, I just don't give a fuck and don't even bother trying to cover it anymore because it's too big to hide. It's a fucking tumor of a penis...
I wish it had a disembodied voice that said stuff like "You must kill them. You must kill them all, for they are heretics!" Clearly I can hear this voice and clearly it's speaking to me, but also everyone else can hear it. In every conversation I have, it just gets louder and louder: "NO, YOU MUST NOT LISTEN TO THE HERETIC; YOU MUST TAKE HIS LIFE!"... and I'm like talking to an insurance agent...
>>555
In fact, this is the character for our manga. Fuck anything else. Here is, in all his glory: clad in a Japanese girl's middle school uniform, sentient penis slung over his shoulder shouting "KILL! KILL! KILL!", firing a Kalashnikov rifle wildly with his one free hand, and clad in an oxygen mask because the mound of corpses on which he stands is higher than Everest!
and it's a slice-of-life manga
Of the claimed 4% of Americans who answered that they believe that lizard people control the US government, 77.67% answered the survey such "for the lulz" according to a recent survey.
About 2,330,000 results (0.51 seconds)
Did you mean: Hey Anon! You know that in addition to this image boards, there are others?
This place sure has been slow lately...
can't wait for windows 9 though!
>>566
Windows 9: One huge colorful animated tile that says "Press here to pay your monthly subscription." If you pay it, it changes kto a prettier color. That's all. They've reduced the PC to an infant's mobile, basically.
When you get a machine with Windows 8 installed, the first thing you have to do is spend time making it look nothing like Windows 8 so that your users can actually use it. It's like buying a car and having to immediately replace the "ergonomic driving saddles" with actual seats and the "fuel-saving octagonal car/road interface" with round tires.
And in all honesty, it really could be a lot worse. I mean, what if you couldn't modify it? Oh no... what if they do that to the next version?? I'm going to have nightmares about that.
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? MARGARET THATCHER.
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
MARGARET THATCHER is dead!
RIP Maggie, greatest PM Britain has ever known.
>>569
Get a job you workshy cunt.
"We're putting the wonder back in air travel"
That's awful. Who thought of this? "I wonder if we'll ever get off the ground." "I wonder why they cancelled my flight." "I wonder where my bags are."
I accidentally got a job.
Please help me.
>>572
Shit, that's a snazzy looking ID
>>572
A job is the gateway anti-drug. What have you done?? The biggest mistake you'll ever make is trying to be a responsible adult. You're doomed.
Wow. I really miss the community this site had.
:\
>>575
Everyone is either dead or in hiding. It can't be helped.
Which will lose all of its value first- the Euro or the Bitcoin? Place your bets people.
>>577
Bitcoin. They lost around $30 in the course of minutes yesterday. I guess I win. Gambling sure is easy when you're asked to place your bets after the roulette wheel has stopped spinning. It's also really easy to place your bet when one horse is hard currency and the other is fake internet gold whose main promoters are conspiracy theorists on internet forums with a disproportionately high number of My Little Pony avatars.
Going into work for the first time today.
Why didn't you save me?
BREAKING NEWS: /b/, /v/ frozen. /q/ a hive of conspiracy theories and paranoia.
>>581
Today would've been a great day to hang out on /q/... I messed up!
I somehow missed all the action. Nothing was happening by the time I showed up.
The only good day to hang out on /q/ will be the one preceeding its deletion.
DO YOU SEE?? HE NEVER CAME BACK.
That's what happens when you leave the house. Let that be a lesson to all of you!
Haven't gotten fired yet. Why aren't you guys helping?
Good /b/-tards are at home all day solving mysteries (see link).
>>588 went to "work"; posted about it here.
Disregard above link, cocks, etc. Instead: http://yhoo.it/12nuNYZ
Does 0037 still update the wiki?
All the articles I find are from 2012
I found klang's new blog: http://panelcrashing.blogspot.com/
In other news:
Last night, I went for a walk with my tobacco pipe. I sat along side the water and just enjoyed watching and listening to the waves. It was incredibly relaxing and I had some good thoughts.
After that, I thought I'd go get some tea so I headed to a cafe. It was closing the minute I walked in, so I went to a restaurant down the street.
Aside from me, there were maybe 3 or 4 couples in the restaurant. The place looked empty. The waitress brought me some tea and kept saying I needed to eat something. "I'll buy you something!" she eventually says, and I say "I'm not homeless!" She says she doesn't think I am, but she thinks I look like a nice guy. Alright.
The waitress and I had a great conversation after my meal and then she leaves me with her number on a napkin. A fairly nice night.
Very sick. 50mg of DXM, 50mg of DPH, shot of whiskey gets me through the day.
Can more people go on the irc please?
i miss the good old days(lol)
irc.synirc.net
#world2ch
>>593
Congratulations. You're now physically addicted to DXM. They said it couldn't be done, but you proved them wrong. You're a hero to the children.
I have a confession to make... I'm not really 0037. I mean, I am, but not in a truly spiritual sense. I traded my soul for this minor internet fame. An old man in Marakesh had a table filled with little cards, like bar menus, each wrapped in ancient fabric. At one of the table were great things one could be: "famous actor", "politician", "celebrity chef", each in beautifully embroidered and pristine fabric. But my soul wasn't good enough for that. After "guy with English accent who reviews video games on youtube", after "guy who owns a cute cat", and even after "guy who reviews video games on youtube (no English accent)" there were two at the end, the fabric on each moth-eaten and stained. My soul was so tainted I had my pick of only these two. I opted for the first of the two, "old Internet guy." It was either that or "tripfag celebrity famous for being famous."
>>588
Life-long unemployment can still be yours, but you're not helping us help you any. Something tells me you actually like working. I think your dedication to the cause is lacking.
I hung out with some /jp/ers on 4/20. We hung out in downtown Portland, then we got really high and really drunk. I can't say it was a bad way to spend the day.
I've been deathly sick for the past few days. No work, no school.