I was walking home last Friday, when
until he was an insensate mass of
squirming gayly. After that he went to
work cleaning up the cum stains that
had soaked his rent to own rug.
As well as most of the planet.
In the midst of this, something quite
unexpected happened: Latvia suddenly declared war on
poverty and opened fire. Tokiko managed to
barely avoid getting annihilated by the enraged
ramblings of his own mind. "Poverty?!" he
repeated for at least fifteen minutes straight.
Whoever Latvia declared war defeated them soundly.
Alas, poor Tokiko was unable to percieve
how quickly poverty can lead to death
Turns out, he had died hours ago.
The uncle and 0037 were frantically trying
to keep the board running with a
tiny solar panel and a 56K modem.
Thankfully, 0037's superior admin skills saved the
posted content. Almost four percent of it.
This was enough to revive Tokiko, who
woke up with an insatiable craving for
nourishment because he was so exhausted from
the events which had occurred earlier, namely
penguin. "Install Linux - Problem Solved" said Tokiko.
his death. While in hell, Tokiko saw
RMS yelling at the demons for not
being freely licensed, confusing them with daemons.
The dreadful sight made him return to
life almost instantly. Still, there was all
and all nothing much to live for.
The semen residue coating the world had
wiped out most interesting life, except for
meerkats, who love to drink cum. Now
and then it seemed that way. But
in reality the meerkats were dead too.
With everybody dead, death became the new
mainstream, so in attempting to avoid it
many died. This viscous cycle was almost
averted by the remnants of the Red
Hungers, but not quite. Meanwhile, great globs
globbed the blobs of blobsville, and ended
up accidentally restoring all life to the
area. At least, this would have happened
had it not been for Tokiko's unrelenting
habit of stockpiling moustache wax in his
hairy asshole. "The glob incident never happened"
thought Tokiko erroneously, as great globs indeed
trickled down his legs. "Oh dear," said
Tokiko. The hairy uncle cleaned him by
using his dick as a vacuum cleaner
and sucked up the entire globby mess.
During the time that followed this situation,
Mr. Gray was sitting in a depressing
room decorated with only a few paintings.
a pigeon is staring through the window
at his melancholic face. He sighs and
and faces his closet. He opens it
and pulls out a shotgun, which he
also opened as if to load a
minivan with fresh tuna. There was fish
in the shotgun. He pointed it at
the sky and fires, and yellowfin ricochet
all across the valley, swiftly slapping a
silly. After the commotion was over, a
portal to some ancient hurricane opened and
leveled the city that used to be
where the ancient hurricane portal is positioned.
This recursion continued on and on until
this recursion ceased, which it did. Suddenly,
cryogenically defrosted cavemen reanimated creating white people.
Or at least that's how it seemed.
After flying to the moon they were tired
from all this nonsense, so Tokiko and
Neil Armstrong founded a resort in Chernobyl,
where they could relax. Finally they had
enough money to begin looking for consultants
to spearhead the selection of a construction
of toffee factory blueprints, when a meltdown
occurred. It was at that precise moment,
in a galaxy a long far away,
aliens perfecting the entangled particle annihilation engine
capable of travelling to Earth, and now
National security was not all that important.
What was important was international security, so
all of the hummingbirds he was smuggling
, which happened to be the intergalactic symbol
of homosexual consent. The Martians took notice
, disappointed that the planet was lesser cultured
having not learned the fineries of unconsenting
fiscal penalty handouts, which they promptly delivered.
"Deliver this!" said the emperor, whipping out
a snake smuggled in his urethra. Unfortunately
it was not valid alien currency either,
unlike barbaric tv shows. The admin watches
as all land on earth was confiscated, leaving
the emperor only the oceans. "Foolish aliens!"
he shouted, threatening further violence with a