I was walking home last Friday, when
name appeared to be unrelated to the
story unless you considered the fact that
major events happened at his tomb. The
mausoleum was of course also covered in
major events, but those covering the tomb
were major events that were covered in
Lenin's idiomatic fingerprints. But the hairiness of
the mausoleum is only comparable to the
majorness of the events that had happened
in the past. In the present, however,
society was undergoing a crisis of postmodernity,
drowned in semen, covered in hair. However
, barbaric TV shows were gone (thank god).
Postmodernity was subsequently debunked and replaced with
hairiness. This delighted the philosopher's heart of
clay, causing it, too, to sprout several
protein filaments. This pained the philosopher tokiko
more than the rice still lodged where
his brain would usually be. 0037 looked
at his phone, disinterested in what was
currently going on. "Man, if only I
had a cock in me right now."
"I'd be right happy to" said some
huge homosexual hipster by the name of
Mr Tripchecker (Who Likes To Check Trips)
boomed a voice from the heavens. Our
story keeps getting interrupted and it's really
awesome. Breaking the fourth wall is what
huge homosexual hipsters by the name of
avery morrow (on a proxy) love to
masturbate to on a Saturday morning. You
know it is Saturday morning when the
Its Funny Because Its Actually Saturday Morning
enough sidetracking, you know it is Saturday
when the semen floods rise past the
legally approved maximum semen limit, causing widespread
failed environmental reports. The EPA fined Tokiko
zero dollars because the EPA doesn't exist
Tokiko thus perpetuated an eternal Saturday along
the lines of a groundhog day scenario
it gave him all the time he
needed to prepare for the massive hairy
question of what to do on a
Saturday, day of jacking off continuosly to
the idea of getting the 800th post.
And the fabulous post number 800 is...
incredibly gay. Just like the hairy uncle
claimed to have predicted it would be.
Tokiko and 0037 could only stare, awestruck
before the sight of 800, for now
you guys have some severe form of autism
said some intruder, interrupting the story. This
intruder was captured by the Latvian army
and brought to trial for crimes against
intruder was flayed alive. Justice is
not served right. He wants to be
gently pampered so he can go back
to his homeland in Albania, where the
criteria for reentry is to be gently
increased every year (according to the law)
in order to prevent inflitration by the
Bad Posts mafia. Tokiko cried in his
secret hideout where he was being nursed
back to health. And then, quite suddenly,
hair burst out all over his body.
The transformation is complete, now Tokiko became
The Embodiment Of All Things Hairy, world2ch's
future is at risk thanks to the
awe-striking power of this fearsome beast. Even
work! work! work! work! work! work! work!
was not enough to stop this monstrous
abomination from swallowing up all threads on
dead textboards. To stop it, a group
of skittish monks knows as #rekt squad
was assembled. Their first encounter, unfortunately, was
pretty hilarious as they themselves got rekt
by The Embodiment Of All Things Hairy,
with minimal effort. Even the gay sages
were unable to construct a coherent story.
Tokiko then used all of his hairiness
to suck up the entire semen floods
and release them onto 0037's hard drives.
"Wow buddy chill with the deleted posts",
chanted the gay sages, creepily en masse.
The chanting was part of the ritual
to cleanse w2ch in preparation of the
impending Great Cataclysm as foretold by Joey
from Friends, the TV comedy on NBC.
The gay sages worship Joey as a
very reliable soothsayer who had not once
made a wrong prediction. 0037 slapped Tokiko