I was walking home last Friday, when
claimed to have predicted it would be.
Tokiko and 0037 could only stare, awestruck
before the sight of 800, for now
you guys have some severe form of autism
said some intruder, interrupting the story. This
intruder was captured by the Latvian army
and brought to trial for crimes against
intruder was flayed alive. Justice is
not served right. He wants to be
gently pampered so he can go back
to his homeland in Albania, where the
criteria for reentry is to be gently
increased every year (according to the law)
in order to prevent inflitration by the
Bad Posts mafia. Tokiko cried in his
secret hideout where he was being nursed
back to health. And then, quite suddenly,
hair burst out all over his body.
The transformation is complete, now Tokiko became
The Embodiment Of All Things Hairy, world2ch's
future is at risk thanks to the
awe-striking power of this fearsome beast. Even
work! work! work! work! work! work! work!
was not enough to stop this monstrous
abomination from swallowing up all threads on
dead textboards. To stop it, a group
of skittish monks knows as #rekt squad
was assembled. Their first encounter, unfortunately, was
pretty hilarious as they themselves got rekt
by The Embodiment Of All Things Hairy,
with minimal effort. Even the gay sages
were unable to construct a coherent story.
Tokiko then used all of his hairiness
to suck up the entire semen floods
and release them onto 0037's hard drives.
"Wow buddy chill with the deleted posts",
chanted the gay sages, creepily en masse.
The chanting was part of the ritual
to cleanse w2ch in preparation of the
impending Great Cataclysm as foretold by Joey
from Friends, the TV comedy on NBC.
The gay sages worship Joey as a
very reliable soothsayer who had not once
made a wrong prediction. 0037 slapped Tokiko
until he was an insensate mass of
squirming gayly. After that he went to
work cleaning up the cum stains that
had soaked his rent to own rug.
As well as most of the planet.
In the midst of this, something quite
unexpected happened: Latvia suddenly declared war on
poverty and opened fire. Tokiko managed to
barely avoid getting annihilated by the enraged
ramblings of his own mind. "Poverty?!" he
repeated for at least fifteen minutes straight.
Whoever Latvia declared war defeated them soundly.
Alas, poor Tokiko was unable to percieve
how quickly poverty can lead to death
Turns out, he had died hours ago.
The uncle and 0037 were frantically trying
to keep the board running with a
tiny solar panel and a 56K modem.
Thankfully, 0037's superior admin skills saved the
posted content. Almost four percent of it.
This was enough to revive Tokiko, who
woke up with an insatiable craving for
nourishment because he was so exhausted from
the events which had occurred earlier, namely
penguin. "Install Linux - Problem Solved" said Tokiko.
his death. While in hell, Tokiko saw
RMS yelling at the demons for not
being freely licensed, confusing them with daemons.
The dreadful sight made him return to
life almost instantly. Still, there was all
and all nothing much to live for.
The semen residue coating the world had
wiped out most interesting life, except for
meerkats, who love to drink cum. Now
and then it seemed that way. But
in reality the meerkats were dead too.
With everybody dead, death became the new
mainstream, so in attempting to avoid it
many died. This viscous cycle was almost
averted by the remnants of the Red
Hungers, but not quite. Meanwhile, great globs
globbed the blobs of blobsville, and ended
up accidentally restoring all life to the
area. At least, this would have happened
had it not been for Tokiko's unrelenting
habit of stockpiling moustache wax in his
hairy asshole. "The glob incident never happened"
thought Tokiko erroneously, as great globs indeed
trickled down his legs. "Oh dear," said
Tokiko. The hairy uncle cleaned him by