Top three headlines on Yahoo news: enslaved women in London, Iran nuclear talks, UN climate change talks. K. Sound important. Except the slave women. Rather than play this as a strange outlying case, the media seems hell-bent on making us believe that human trafficking is pervasive in the west and there are 1.8 million slaves in London alone. I doubt it.

So that's fine, but here's a selection of other headlines:
#7: "Dog rescued from South African 'Big Hole' after a week" Of everything that is happening in Africa right now, #1 story we see is about a DOG.
#9: "Dillman's, Manny's serve different potato pancakes." What. What is a "Dillman's"? What is a "Manny's"? Why is the nation interested in why their potato pancakes differ?
#12: "Pre-K teacher sends note complaining about students’ ‘unpleasant smells’ Yeah, children are gross.
#17: "Teen Knows From Experience That Cutting Won't End Pain" But it will sure get you in the news. In fact, it will get you ahead of relief efforts in the Philippines, Palestinian peace talks, rebel actions in Syria, a breakthrough in the treatment of hepatitis-C, and this truly funny gem: "The man Rob Ford defeated: 'I'm not surprised'"

I am officially a grumpy old man. Why the fuck can't I retire?