0037 yawned as he opened his eyes
bad. Very very bad. So bad that
0037 cried. This is Tokiko's chance to
search for actual human food. He walked
three steps before collapsing in exhaustion. "I
need to eat something!" he cried through
the night. He looked up and saw
an old portable cassette player. "Shungudzo", he
read on the tape being played. He
scratched his head in confusion because he
had a mysteriously itching head that wasn't
there earlier, having grown another one apparently.
An alien guard walked on the scene
and was swiftly dispatched. "What a fag"
Said Tokiko. His new SJW head shrieked
with laughter, like a banshee on HRT.
Thankfully the aliens were edible, so he
quickly devoured the alien. It tasted like
an alien should taste: creamy but lean.
But then, it turned out that the
SJW head's a vegan. "Meat is murder!"
Enraged by the head's nagging, Tokiko decides
to at least start thinking about whether
or not to abandon leftism. However he
stops thinking as another alien guard arrives
and the head shrieks "ALIEN LIVES MATTER!"
This attracts more guards to the cell
than fried chickens niggers on a Sunday eve
Surrounded, Tokiko plans to escape by devouring
his feces and telling him he is a
the guards in less than three bites.
Now that Tokiko is free, it's time
to come clean and admit he was
enjoying imprisonment a great deal. Especially the
extreme stunts he was forced to perform
without sleep. It was time to move
on from this life into the next
so he took his cyanide capsule. In
an instant, Tokiko is now gone to
the next life. But before he could
start his seven million years in purgatory,
he has to prove himself in a
grand bingo tournament. Counterless, he wondered how
he would deal with the incoming holiday
invasion coming from the hidden realms of
the grand bingo tournament. He decided to
consider this for a bit longer as
he did not have a suitable understanding
of the rules of interplanetary bingo. He
applied for the Universal Bingo Training Program
And was curtly rejected, leading to a
a sudden cancelation of the grand bingo
orgy/feast, which normally follows the tournament.
This decision was very unpopular among the
tournament vendor's union who rioted, burning down
Portland's Olympic Bingo Hall. Unfortunately the basement
was undamaged in the riots, and it
had a fridge with a girl’s corpse
. "No, she's alive! Really she is!" Shouted
the murderer. He was likely a stalker.
As he denied these accusations, the police
arrested the vendor's union for property damage
as well as some other crimes, like
the cool customer he was he began
to screech uncontrolably. This seemed to be
some sort of ancient alien mating ritual
but, upon further exposure, it proved to
be just plain and ordinary uncontrollable screeching
often exhibited by NEETs facing harsh reality.
The Irish, thinking they'd heard a banshee
potato nigger, potato nigger, where is potato?
Silly faggot silly faggot silly faggot silly
" they chanted, hoping to avoid the wrath
of Andrew, a man known to have
strangled Irish babies for fun while their
parents are out on fancy dinners and
other heinous crimes of that sort. Then,
somehow, the wrath of Andrew, while terrible,
had mercy on a young white nigger
named Tokiko. He cured his cyanide poisoning
and liberated him from the grand bingo
tournament. Tokiko quickly gathered his belongings and
began his journey towards his final destination:
supreme enlightenment, a sacred state of mind
only reachable through barbaric TV shows. He
then proceeded to trip over a bug
and crash head first into the TV
the admin had turned on. It was
showing a somewhat civilized TV show, but
the very act of crashing head first
had made it thoroughly barbaric. The admin
was not entirely convinced, looking instead to
create a better future for Bas9que niggers
through the power of work! and desceplin!
Which of course begins with proper spelling.
But proper spelling, of course, begins with
the letter "r" mostly. Tokiko failed spelling
class, thanks to his rhotacism. This led
him to plot a violent revolution against
the admin's administration. For this, he recruited
the Basque spammer and his racially pure