So, there’s this girl I go to school with, let’s call her Rachel. We exchanged numbers and emails for a school project, and still occasionally message each other. But recently, she hasn’t been responding to my emails or texts!
Do you think Rachel is okay? Should I call her?
Why would I insult Rachel?
Thank you! At school, Rachel talked to me today!
Is OP the next train man or the next molester man? What do you think? Either way, him and Rachel are surely destined to be together.
>>36
I went to Sephora once and I almost felt compelled to buy makeup even though I don't use any and I'm not even a girl, it's a pretty cool store all things considered.
Don’t make fun of me like that! We talked about her friends and family. She said she wasn’t going to talk to me about her friends, and I wonder why. I still got her to speak!
>We talked about her friends and family.
>She said she wasn’t going to talk to me about her friends
You aren't making any sense. Are you making this up?
You should not pursue pre-marital relationships.
What are those? And I mean that I made her talk about her friends... Well, made is a harsh word, but you get the idea!
It means you should stop bothering the poor girl.
Listen to the wizard, he knows.
What wizard?
Guys, he can't see the wizard.
Hey wizard, you need to undo whatever spell you cast that makes it so he can't see you.
I'll recite the chant and make myself visible for the young one:
𝔗𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔪𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱,
𝔄 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱.
𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔲𝔫𝔞𝔡𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔢𝔶𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔱,
𝔖𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔱,
ℑ - 𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔚𝔦𝔷𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔎𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔭𝔞 - 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢
𝔑𝔬𝔴 𝔞𝔱 𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢 𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔢𝔢
I kissed Rachel!!!!!!!
There's no way something didn't go wrong there.
Kissing needs to be mutual kid.
He didn't know that part. He's probably going to jail.
Tell her you got the nasty in your taxi and offer her a lift
I’m not going to jail! I’m sure about it!
Keep telling yourself that.
Stoo! =(
I think he got arrested.
The Mad Kisser has been captured. Your daughters can sleep safe tonight.
I’m not arrested! And we’ve been hanging out a lot, too. But only when her mom isn’t home. Even without her, I’m not let in right away.
>>68
So you're standing outside the door, whining to be let in? Shouldn't she be opening it right away? Something smells fishy here.
>Even without her, I’m not let in right away.
Explain in detail please.
This kids gonna grow up to be a rapist.
I WILL NOT RAPE HER!!!!!!!! And also by that I mean she has homework and stuff so she can’t let me in. (Don’t jump to conclusions!!!!)
Why don't you try helping her with her homework?
>>72
So you're left standing outside while she does her homework? That just sounds weird.
Yes, I was. But then she told me to leave. ()
>But then she told me to leave.
FRIENDZONED
HARD
YOU WILL DIE ALONE.
GAME OVER
What happened over the weekend?
And Monday passed with no news either. Probably in jail. Poor guy.
I’m not in jail! Over the weekend I kept visiting! I even got in!
Don't leave out the interesting parts! Tell us what the hell you did in there!
What is the punchline going to be? Is she ten? A conjoined twin?
She didn’t want to do “that”, so we didn’t. And we go to school together, she’s not ten!
>>85
You didn't she's not a conjoined twin!
I bet one half likes you and the other doesn't. It's going to make a great sitcom.
I did suggest it!, So what?
>>90
Ok, before this gets too hilarious, let's define "this". What do you mean by "this"?
Or "that" or "it".
By it, I meant sex
send her a picture of your penis to get her in the mood
Better idea. Pictures of your penis inside a pug.
But how would I do that’s?
First you need a pug. You should be able to borrow one at a park or some place like that.
Are there pug renting places?
I don't know, tbf.
There are pug rescue organizations. Adopt a dozen elderly, sick, and disabled pugs. That's the responsible thing to do here.
How much do they cost there?
Adopting a pug has no price. If they try to charge you, they're lying.
$250. And you have to be over 18 to adopt one. So just paypal me the money and I'll get it for you. Deal?
You found that pug yet?
Not yet. The lady didn't want to give it up
You need to be more assertive. You're only taking it for an hour at most. What's the worst that could happen?
She could call the police for pug assault?
I'm sure the police are too busy with important business that actually matters to respond to pug assault reports.
It could be a small town. A small town whose economy is entirely pug-driven.
On Christmas Eve, father came home, in the driving sleet, from his fourth double-shift in a row at the old pug mill. No matter how many pugs the mills turned out, no matter how many limbs the workers lost, demand was never sated.
PUGS ARENT CURRENCY
Stop!! Anyway, I bumped into Rachel at the mall today. I asked her to come with me, since I had something to show her. She said no because she was busy. So I got her a gift, and went back to the store. She took it, and I think she liked it because she smiled before walking away
>>117
A gift? From the mall???
Is that thing still open?
Wait a minute, I need to test something: what year is it where you are? NO TIME, the wormhole may close before you can answer! Use these Super Bowl scores wisely! Become rich!
2006: Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10, 2007: Indianapolis 29, Chicago 17, 2008: New York Giants 17, New England 14, 2009: Pittsburgh 27, Arizona 23, 2010: New Orleans 31, Indianapolis 17, 2011: Green Bay 31, Pittsburgh 25, 2012: New York Giants 21, New England 17, 2013: Baltimore 34, San Francisco 31
I mean, it can't be any later than that. This should help though!
Malls still exist! It’s 2017
You don't actually love her, kid. That's just your hormones messing witchu.
But what was the gift?
Wait, why wouldn't malls exist? I haven't really been keeping up with my surroundings for years.
The gift?
Yes, you dolt. The gift!
hur durp di dop, why u people like this shit?! muy thread better. so stupid u are! stop now and be good.
I saw something I thought she’d like... They were really cute!
He may have purchased two chinchillas for her.
I can’t buy chinchillas! Besides, they don’t come in cute patterns.
Oh lord, he fed some cute rodent through an embroidery machine!
No!
I’d never do that!
How many chances at putting rodents through an embroidery machine have you had in order to accurately determine that you'd never do it? Is there something you aren't telling us?
I wonder how many times he has raped rachell by now. Poor girl, she just happened to be nice to that weird guy once and this happens.
I haven’t raped her! Who do you take me for, some kind of stalker?
That's exactly what a stalker would say.
But I’m not!
lurk for a hundert years