So, there’s this girl I go to school with, let’s call her Rachel. We exchanged numbers and emails for a school project, and still occasionally message each other. But recently, she hasn’t been responding to my emails or texts!
Do you think Rachel is okay? Should I call her?
Are there pug renting places?
I don't know, tbf.
There are pug rescue organizations. Adopt a dozen elderly, sick, and disabled pugs. That's the responsible thing to do here.
How much do they cost there?
Adopting a pug has no price. If they try to charge you, they're lying.
$250. And you have to be over 18 to adopt one. So just paypal me the money and I'll get it for you. Deal?
You found that pug yet?
Not yet. The lady didn't want to give it up
You need to be more assertive. You're only taking it for an hour at most. What's the worst that could happen?
She could call the police for pug assault?
I'm sure the police are too busy with important business that actually matters to respond to pug assault reports.
It could be a small town. A small town whose economy is entirely pug-driven.
On Christmas Eve, father came home, in the driving sleet, from his fourth double-shift in a row at the old pug mill. No matter how many pugs the mills turned out, no matter how many limbs the workers lost, demand was never sated.
PUGS ARENT CURRENCY
Stop!! Anyway, I bumped into Rachel at the mall today. I asked her to come with me, since I had something to show her. She said no because she was busy. So I got her a gift, and went back to the store. She took it, and I think she liked it because she smiled before walking away
>>117
A gift? From the mall???
Is that thing still open?
Wait a minute, I need to test something: what year is it where you are? NO TIME, the wormhole may close before you can answer! Use these Super Bowl scores wisely! Become rich!
2006: Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10, 2007: Indianapolis 29, Chicago 17, 2008: New York Giants 17, New England 14, 2009: Pittsburgh 27, Arizona 23, 2010: New Orleans 31, Indianapolis 17, 2011: Green Bay 31, Pittsburgh 25, 2012: New York Giants 21, New England 17, 2013: Baltimore 34, San Francisco 31
I mean, it can't be any later than that. This should help though!
Malls still exist! It’s 2017
You don't actually love her, kid. That's just your hormones messing witchu.
But what was the gift?
Wait, why wouldn't malls exist? I haven't really been keeping up with my surroundings for years.
The gift?
Yes, you dolt. The gift!
hur durp di dop, why u people like this shit?! muy thread better. so stupid u are! stop now and be good.
I saw something I thought she’d like... They were really cute!
He may have purchased two chinchillas for her.
I can’t buy chinchillas! Besides, they don’t come in cute patterns.
Oh lord, he fed some cute rodent through an embroidery machine!
No!
I’d never do that!
How many chances at putting rodents through an embroidery machine have you had in order to accurately determine that you'd never do it? Is there something you aren't telling us?
I wonder how many times he has raped rachell by now. Poor girl, she just happened to be nice to that weird guy once and this happens.
I haven’t raped her! Who do you take me for, some kind of stalker?
That's exactly what a stalker would say.
But I’m not!
lurk for a hundert years
Lurk?
Don't lurk. You have a lot more details to tell us.
Like what?
Oh no! He lost his memory! Now we will never know what he did to Rachel!
Let's hypnotize him! We'll learn where the missing body parts are yet!
Torture also works
Stop! I remember fine.
Then tell us where you hid the body! You mailed it piece by piece to her parents, didn't you? Speak up, freak!
Why do you think I’d do that? She’s alive, I saw her earlier today!
Yes, saw her in the freezer. We know.
Look, just tell us where the torso is and we'll get you whatever you want to eat. You like KFC? We'll get you a whole bucket!
Stop it! My fridge couldn’t even fit her body in it!
Which is why you didn't put the whole body in there. We get it. We know. Just tell us what you did!
Why do you think I’m a murderer!?
We don't have any evidence that says you aren't
She was at school with me!
You keep her in your schoolbag? That's sick.
Wouldn't that start to smell very quickly? He must be keeping her body parts in little glass jars of preservative. I see no other explanation.
Clink, slosh, clink, slosh as he walks down down the hall. His bag is full. He carries his books in his arms.
What!? She’s alive!
Not for long
You sicko
Why do you all take me for a creep?
It certainly isn't a reflection of our own feelings, for you see, we are normal human beings, fellow human being.
How many pieces do you guys think Rachell's in?
Six. I guessed six first! It's the most likely. Limbs, torso, head.
I mean, if you're going to pack someone into a couple of duffel bags, that's how you get started.
The real question is whether or not she is/was a conjoined twin after all.
Also wondering if removed organs count as pieces. What exactly are the rules of this game? Does a skin suit count as one piece even if it's stitched together from multiple pieces?
I didn’t ACTUALLY murder or rape her. I wouldn’t ever consider murdering her, you idiots! And she’s not a conjoined twin, either!
OMG you skinned her and kept her alive??
What’s wrong with you!?
Rachel confirmed for being a conjoined twin.
Makes sense. Conjoined twins would provide more skin for the skin suit.
What kind of sewing machine do you use for human skin, OP? Can you find flesh-colored thread to make it match, or what?
Maybe he is also a conjoined twin, so needs conjoined twins for his woman suit.
Also, his conjoined twin is not a psychopathic killer and not happy with this plan, but if one goes to prison, the other has to go too!
Stop it now! I’m not a conjoined twin and she’s not a conjoined twin!
How can you be sure? What if it's like a parasitic twin deal? Just a tiny baby person attached at her side? Or your side?
Maybe the parasitic twin is the one talking you into these terrible things you do. Confess!
Confess! your sins like the good little christian you are !!!
NO CONJOINED TWINS OR PARASITIC TWINS OR TWINS OF ANY TYPE OF TRIPLETS OR QUALUPLETS OR CONNECTED HUMANS TO ME OR HERR
Murder her and her family.
Think of all the skin you could get from that. You could make a skin suit, jacket, and matching bag!
Is there an infant in her family? Those make great handbags.
Update on this? Did you get arrested yet?