Q: What is a jet ski?
A: Jet skis are fucking awesome. Rippin' around on waves and shit. You should buy one.
Q: What is the difference between a jet ski and a PWC or Personal Watercraft?
A: PWC is a sit down bullshit version of a jet ski. Do men do it sitting down? No, chicks do. Get a jet ski, not a PWC.
Q: What kind of safety equipment should I use when riding my jet ski?
A: Safety? What are you, a pussy? I usually carry a .357 with me, though. Never know when the lake is going to go all post-apocalyptic Water World on you.
Q: Will I need to make any special modifications to my car in order to tow my jet ski?
A: Tow? Faggot, just throw it in the trunk like I do. Hold it in there were some bungee cables and you're good. There's usually some bros at the lake that will help you lift it out.
Q: What kind of permits, licenses, and insurance will I require for my jet ski?
A: Just make sure your sticker looks legit and is basically the right color. You'll be moving so fast though, they can't do shit to you. WTF you need insurance for? Again, you'll be away from the scene of the crime so fast they'll never be able to pin it on you!
Q: What are "The Rules of the Water?"
A: Faggot shit like in the driver's handbook at the DMV. Except they don't test you on it. It's mostly like how to pass another boat. Except bitches don't pass me, I pass them! If meeting another boat or some faggot on a "PWC" (pissing while ceated (still working on that)), just play chicken with them. They'll get out of your way. That's all you need to know about that shit.
Q: Should I take special care or caution when winterizing my jet ski?
A: Fuck yeah, you should. The best thing you can do is just bring it in the house. I like to put mine in the living room as a constant reminder of the wicked shit I'm going to do come summer. If you put up the handle bars, you can hang clothes from it, so it's not just a waste of space. At least that's what I tell Stacey, but she's a bitch about it sometimes.