All you have to do is not tell any of your friends about it and not post here ever. And if you ever publicly recall a funny anecdote you read here first, be sure not to tell them where you read it. In fact, if anyone asks where you heard it, lure them to a secluded area and murder them so they can't even google it for the source. Then delete your browsing history and kill yourself. Make sure your murder-suicide note blames reddit!
brvefewfe
hi
who said you could greet me? same person who said you could look me in the eyes?