The news is not good. We're bleeding cash by the tens of dollars every quarter here, guys. You may have already heard rumors of a scandal involving our most lucrative revenue stream, and I'm sad to inform you that they are very much true. Tokiko was entrusted with the important task of sending pictures of his dick to creeps on IRC for money but embezzled the funds and spent them on cough syrup. He has been placed on administrative leave, so please notify security if you see him on the premises before October 1st.
Now I know many of you were counting on your bonuses to purchase upwards of two handfuls of Hot Tamales, Mike & Ikes, or a rubber ball from a vending machine come Christmas time, but I'm not fully certain we'll be able to pay them this year...
[pause for sounds of disgust/death threats]
There are positive notes, however. Our artistic department has increased its output a full 100% (thanks sprum!). Shii stalking is up a full 3% on the quarter. We’ll make him love us one of these days, guys!
[pause for applause/death threats]
In other news, we're getting a fair amount of traffic from China (8,558 page views so far this month (jesus christ)). Any idea why this may be true? I believe it was the same for the past month, but I don't really check all that often...
Is that just where the proxies are these days? Or are the Chinese actually interested in what's going on here (and specifically here, as in this board)? Or is just a bunch of failed attempts at spamming done in by kareha's default anti-spam traps and my list of 3000 ways to spell v1-8g``r8h?
Any ideas how we can exploit this? Does anyone have anything for sale the Chinese might want? I’m thinking state secrets here...
Usage by Operating System:
Windows 85.5%
Linux 9.9%
Macintosh 3.8%
Unknown??? 0.5%
Blackberry 0.0% k
Sun Solaris 0.0% wut
Java Mobile 0.0%
Sony Playstation 0.0%
Because only Linux nerds care:
Unspecified/Unknown: 9.5%
Android: 0.1%
Ubuntu: 0.1%
Fedora: 0.1%
Gentoo: 0.0%
A couple things about Windows:
Windows 3.xx 0.1% (WTF)
Windows 95 0.6% (srsly?)
Do you think this board needs more or LESS users?
I think this board needs more Chinese spammers. Hell, why not Russian too?
The quality of any board is dictated by how much spam and inane posts it has, after all.
>>4
Until someone replies to my story, it needs more.
buy hand bags!
>>8
print "my credit limit is ¢my_credit_limit/n";
Horay, I get a free account
Yeah, you're all broke with a credit limit of zero. Which is understandable because you're all twelve, but how did you break your parents too? It seems QD++GERECCEUPW(TM) has backfired. I was already shopping for a briefcase to put my ill-gotten fortune into when it all came crashing down...
We need to attract the right kind of user to this place: rich but stupid. Any ideas?
>>11
Why? Do you need some? How many can I put you down for? Minimum order is a dozen...
You know, selling knock-off tranny gear may be just the niche we've been looking for here. They appear to be increasing in number and they're willing to whore themselves out to afford a high quality castration. But who is thinking of the unmotivated and lazy tranny? W2CH, that's who!
Sure these Chinese knock-off implants are nothing but a poorly-glued polyethylene bag full of aqueous formaldehyde, but can you beat the price??? Order now and we'll include several other disgusting things you'll need for your transition from a man to a man-with-his-dick-lopped-off all made from the finest and safest materials we can be bothered to find...
WANTED: Copywriter for growing medical supplies importer.
DUTIES: Must be able to replace insensitive terms like pre-corpse, mutilated, hideous, unconvincing, tranny, he-she, miserable motherfucker, etc. from existing outlines with sensitive and unoffensive terminology. Format text for use on our web site. Help us think of other crooked things to do to make enough money to retire by 40.
EXPERIENCE NECESSARY: Must be able to stand under your own power. Previous convictions for bank fraud or money laundering a plus!
Oh yeah...
and PAY: Minimum wage + whatever you can embezzle and steal from us.
or:
PAY: Minimum wage + all the copper you can tear out of the walls after we're raided by the FDA.
I'll take the job, so long as you don't mind me also embezzling office supplies and other minor items.
I got a job in your industry, 0037. 20 hours a week! I'll donate you my first paycheck. Just include a strip of paper with your paypal address with that DVD of old-time images. I'm 18 now, so don't feel queezy about adult content
One of the routes to success with the budget transsexual surgery industry might be just providing financing. Company name? Shit writes itself: TRANNY MAE.
Oh yeah, and since kids are getting it lopped off sooner than ever these days, why not pre-pay for services starting in infancy? We'll offer goddamn tranny insurance. It will be like those Gerber Life plans. Save your "son/it" the humiliation of doing disgusting things with strangers for cash to afford their surgery! Why take chances?? Buy now!