When I was young and lame I'd fuck with my IRC client to return a ctcp clientinfo saying I was running UNICOS. Let's think of all the great accomplishments I could have undertaken had I not wasted my time to do that: Hmm... Never mind. I would have just used the time to jerk off at that age. Ah, one wank I'll never get to experience. I'll remember that with endless regret on my death bed or hanging by own belt from a closet dowel in a Motel 6 or whatever...

Also, stop talking about the package or insisting that I burned it. WE ALL BURNED IT, man. All of us. Remember that.